A man chases a woman, until she catches him
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(model of a scientifically calibrated pickup line)
"Running the marathon made me too distracted to manage my hedge fund today, but can I help you with your coat?"
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Don't sweat the petty things. And don't pet the sweaty things
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education
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There are 4 kinds of people in the world.
People who like you for the wrong reasons
People who like you for the right reasons
People who dont like you for the wrong reasons
People who dont like you for the right reasons
Its only the last one you need to worry about
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If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies
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"The Greatest Jihad in Islam is to fight the evil within yourself. It is comparatively easy to fight other human beings when we feel they have wronged us in some way. But the hardest thing in life is to look in the mirror and acknowledge your own moral flaws and hypocrisy and struggle to improve your own character. The victory over yourself is far greater than any fleeting power you may exert over another human being.
This is one of the most powerful teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, and it is one that most human beings have great difficulty with. It is so easy to blame the world and others for our problems. But the only thing we can change in our lives is ourselves. Once we begin to do that, it will have a ripple effect and improve the entire world."
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Suicide.
The sincerest form of self-criticism.
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Paper-cuts, A tree's way of giving Mankind the Finger!
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Tired of boring 1 on 1 sex?
Are you detail oriented and focused?
Then a orgy may be for you.
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Reading makes a full man; conference a ready man; writing an exact man
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Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority
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If there is doubt..........there is no doubt
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When in doubt empty your weapon in the direction of your doubt's
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In ancient times skillful warriors first made themselves invincible, and then watched for vulnerability in their opponents.
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Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake
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It is criminal to teach a man not to defend himself when he is the constant victim of brutal attacks.
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In science you want to say something that nobody knew before, in language that everyone can understand.
In poetry you are bound to say something that everybody knows already, in words that nobody can understand
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The capacity to learn is a gift;
The ability to learn is a skill;
The willingness to learn is a choice
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The key to discovery lies not in mathematics, but in the imagination.
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If there is no one......and one is needed......strive to be that one.
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A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused
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He who laughs alone at night does so in contemplation of his own evil.
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History will be kind to me for I intend to write it
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I AM AN AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE,
This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US department of agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.
At the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, I get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service and drop the kids off at the public school.
After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department.
I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on freerepublic.com and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government cant do anything right.
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Never attempt to reason with people who know they are right!
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Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet
